SHORT COMMUNICATION 94
What Successful Marriages Need
By
Roger Behra
Along with God’s graces, blessings, and help, the success of any marriage, Catholic or otherwise, depends on several other important factors. And at the top of the list is intelligent and honest communication. And the best time for that to start is during courtship. The rod to marriage failure later in many marriages can be traced back to the courtship. Unfortunately, in our modern cultures there are so many distractions that get in the way. Here in America people make their own rules of the road as they go along, and that is absolutely not the way to go.
Intelligent and honest communication begins with the mutual love for God and the keeping of His Commandments as the central forces in the marriage on a daily basis. If the partners keep in mind that they are only visitors here for only a very short time and that they are accountable later (in eternity) for all words and actions committed here on earth. Both partners absolutely have to be on the same page when it comes to love for God and the keeping of His Commandments. And that must come first.
Once mutual love for God has been established, the next important step in the communication process involves the matter of daily emotional love and respect for each other. The give and take of daily life and the respect for each other’s opinions and actions and decisions is very essential. This sets the stage for the entrance of physical love.
In matters of physical love there has to be a clear understanding that they own each other’s bodies, and that physical love is important, and that it can happen at any time within reason, but not abused. In other words common sense has to be used.
A fourth and very, very important area of communication is the matter of money. Many marriages end in divorce because of constant arguments over money. There are many solutions to the handling of money the couple can take. It is of vital importance that money matters are discussed and adhered to religiously. There cannot be any ifs, ands, or buts, only what has been agreed.
The fifth area of communication is super important, and that is the matter of children. It is very important that this subject is discussed in detail with all honesty, and with a proper moral agreement firmly agreed upon. And that means no contraception or birth control and how to go about arriving at the number of children desired. It is a very delicate area of the marriage contract, but it is of upmost importance.
Now that we know that honest, intelligent, moral, and reasonable communication is the foundation of any successful marriage, we must remember that it starts during courtship and especially during the six month waiting period and at conference times with the priest of choice. The priest of your choice will be a valuable help in the communication process, during courtship in general, and at the marriage ceremony later. When the communication factor is taken care of, and the ceremony is properly done, the marriage is nicely headed in the right direction toward success.
Some final points to remember are these. Live according to God’s wishes. Keep daily life simple. Do not overly strive for and abundance of material things. Value the human members more so. Live healthfully. Think positively. All these points will help the happiness quotient to ride a high wave.
R.B.
7-10-09